wonderland~

How my eye became to be...

Monday, January 21, 2013 • 6:23 AM • 3 comments

Assalamualaikum~

A few weeks ago, my sister and I had a heart-to-heart talk with our mother...

She was actually telling us about each of our siblings potential and interests..

Somehow the topic got around me..

I am born with only one functioning eye..

I have a pair of eyes like everyone but the left one can't see anything..

Apparently, the cornea of my left eye is opaque..

A normal cornea would have to be transparent in order to allow light to pass trough..

So, the colour of my eye is bluish-white and smaller than my right..

Alhamdulilah that I even get to open my left eye because my mother said that other people in the same condition as I am, are unable to open the defected eye.

She told me that the doctor suggested a cosmetic surgery because I might suffer inferiority complex

The surgery objective is to replace my eye with a fake one..

One that has got to be taken out every day to be washed..

To do so, they have to take out my real eye..

Since it is my eye, my mother let me decide by myself whether or not do I want to undergo the surgery..

My mother said, it was good that I managed to learn to read and understand English at a very young age.

She printed out an article about the surgery, to let me read about it and make my decision..

According to my mother, she said I opposed the idea of having a surgery

(I say according to her because I don't remember anything about it :P)

Another choice was a contact lens-like- fake eye..

This once doesn't require any surgery

Just put it on and off like a contact lens but it's thicker than a normal contact lens

Once again, I declined

(this one I remember, I was about six or seven years old at that time)

My mother told me that there was this one time we met a person whose eye was the same as mine at a shopping complex..

My mom chased after him so that he could talk to me to make me feel better about myself

and he did..

The sad part is, I couldn't even remember that my mom did that for me :(

As I grow older (xtua sgt pown :)

I started to hate my eye

I started to question why I was born this way

I wondered why it had to be me

Why did I feel this way?

It was because every time a child saw me, they would start crying, thinking that I was a ghost

=.="

Seriously made me sad...

Later on, I found plenty of new surgeries that can fix me eye..

the probability of success is very low as I haven't been able to see anything with my left eye ever since I was born

It's like giving a fake leg to a person who never had legs, he won't be able to walk with the new leg because he never learned how to do so..

Same goes for my eye, even if I replace it with a new one, I might still not be able to see with it because I've never learned how to see with it before...

So, I made up my mind...

For the rest my life to stay the way I am now..

Because I believe that there is a reason why Allah made me this way..

Besides, I still have my right eye, who needs more than one eye to see? :)

I don't mind living this way

I've been living this way for 17 years

I'm sure I can keep living like this for years to come

As long as Allah loves me for the way I am

I don't mind..

As long as I have family and friends who love me for the way I am..

I don't mind..

For those who were born with defects,

Don't be sad

Don't give up on yourself

Love yourself the way you are

Because that's how Allah made you..

Because that's how He loves you

PAST • FUTURE