I have to change!
Sunday, February 3, 2013 • 5:09 AM • 0 comments
I was looking at two tumblrs just now
The first one is the one I've been following for quite awhile
whereas the second one, I just found out about today..
So, as I was browsing the tumblrs,
I saw many inspirational photos and quotes
some are verses from the Al-Quran..
It was very touching and made me think
about my current state..
About how I haven't really been a good Muslim
and that I still have a lot of things I have to improve..
Base on this picture, I'm at stage 5 and 6
Currently, working my way up to stage 7
and, Insyaallah, Ill be at stage 8 one day ;)
I realised (lama dah la sedar ni)
I've been too caught up in wanting to look good
that I forgot how to dress right.
I've been fussing about wanting to look pretty
that I forgot to look modest...
Sentap sangat baca statement ni...haha
Okay, so I don't wear L'oreal,
I wear Estee Lauder and Etude House :P
Cehhh, menunjuk la pulak...
Okay, back to the topic..
because, I would often put layers of foundation
and powder, and lipstick
just so I could look beautiful
(tak pakai pown tetap comey, ok..hehe)
I would search for the perfect cleanser
to make sure my skin would be acne-free
I heard from a tazkirah held at my previous school
that if you want a flawless face,
as it acts as a cleanser for our sins,
It also cleanse our skin >.<
Tapi, nak pegi ambik Wuduk pun malas sangat...
So I have to change!..
Be more aware of what Allah wants me to wear..
Susah la sikit kan sebab baju dalam almari
semua yang tak senonoh je
But it's okay
I'll take one step at a time~
The above statement also gave me the blow..
Even at seventeen years of age
I still misses prayers >.<
Normally, Subuh and sometimes Asar
Because I usually sleep in the evening
and wake up for Maghrib
I'm still too lazy to perform my prayers..
and often would just let it be
thinking it would be okay to miss just one or two prayers
when I could just Qada it later..
But I was wrong..
There are people who died
before they could Qada their prayers
Allah can take your life away at any point of your life..
So you have to always be prepare for death..
I have to change
My target is to not miss a prayer any more..
Again, susah because I usually wake up late
But I can change..
I'll have my parents wake me up in the morning
before they go to work
Or I could set on my alarm..
There are plenty of other things that I have to change
But I can't change drastically..
I've done that before
Tiba2 change from not praying at all
to praying completely with a few other Solat Sunat
and reciting the Quran all day long
and reading the Mathurat
kononnye nak jadi Muslimah sangat2
but the drastic change tires me
and I became lazy again
and returned back to the old me...
The lazy, not-praying, old me
but slightly better
because now even though I miss a few prayers,
I still pray, unlike the old me who never prays.. :P
I need to change slowly
get my stamina at a constant rate,
start from below
and work my way up..
So that I don't get tired easily..
Friends, please pray for me
Please ask Allah
to guide me
To give me His Taufiq and Hidayah
To lead me back to His path
so that I could go to His side..
I will pray for this myself
But I still need help..
Somehow, I feel as if my own prayers
I have so many sins
that I feel as if
I don't deserve Your forgiveness
but Ya Allah
here I am again
shamelessly begging for You
to forgive my sins
and Ya Allah
I beg for You
to lead me back to Your path
as I've strayed away to far
to even see its' lights :(
and Ya Allah
I beg for You
to give me strength
so that I don't give in to my nafs...
Stop procrastinating and start praying!
GIVE ME YOUR WORDS
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